‘I feared because it was too early. I cried because it was too soon, yet I underestimated the strength in someone as small as you.’ Anon.


You know when you’re heavily pregnant, and god forbid, your waters break somewhere in public, like a supermarket, or a theme park? They offer you a years supply of groceries, or a years free pass to the park….

Well trust mine to bloody well break in work.

Everyone who has ever been pregnant in the history of the whole world will know that pregnancy, especially the late stages, is not the easiest. And a lot, start to wish it was over as soon as possible, to rid themselves of the discomfort mostly to meet the new arrival. I was definitely one of those. Yet, the reality of meeting my baby early was VERY scary. Especially at just 34 weeks.
‘What if she’s not strong enough yet?!’ ‘What if there are complications?’ ‘Oh my god, the house isn’t nearly ready!!’
‘Could I not have had even ONE bloody day of maternity leave to rest?!’

Thankfully I found myself in the best of hands. After waddling along to maternity triage, I was seen straight away and admitted to the ward. What followed, was a blur of midwives, obstetricians, neonatal doctors and special care nurses. Although it was information overload, by explaining everything in detail, I felt much more in control and despite not knowing what the hell was going to happen, I started to feel oddly calm.
Although, in hindsight, that couldve been down to the drugs.

Although I’d been contracting away since my waters had broken (according to the CTG machine) – they obviously werent strong enough for me to feel or to be effective. It wasn’t until the Sunday; three days after my waters had broken and almost a week since they’d started leaking, when I’d FINALLY been allowed home, that I felt anything remotely painful. And even then, it was more just mild period cramps. But regular. As in every 5-7minutes regular. Now, I’m not one of those ‘heroes’ with a high pain threshold and I’m certainly not one of those maniacs that opt for an entirely drug free birth, but at that moment in time, I absolutely felt that I was nailing this birth thing. And maybe it wasn’t going to be as horrific as i first imagined….
My body clearly didn’t think I was going to be in enough pain soon enough though, as it decided to throw a casual toothache into the party, just for good measure.
Contractions? Handled.
Toothache? Nuh uh.
Out came the paracetamol and the tears. Thankfully, more so for my long suffering hubby, it wasn’t going to be much longer before the big event started.

After another long dog walk and an obscenely long time spent bouncing on that damn ball, I felt like my contractions were regular enough to warrant phoning triage. It also helped that I was beyond fed up and nothing was taking my fancy on the TV anymore. Thankfully I did phone when I did, as by the time i had rocked up at triage, I happened to be 4cm dilated and in active labour.
Oh crap, this was it!!

I won’t bore (or disgust) you with the finer details of my birth. However, in a nutshell, it involved a lot of profanities, a lot of gymnastics and a moment in which I screamed for an epidural after ONE inhalation of Gas & Air.
Turns out, i most definutely was NOT ‘nailing’ this. Thankfully my amazing midwife calmed me down in my most manic state, and explained that I was going to have no benefit from just one suck of the gas and that I needed to give it a chance.
I did, and by the time I realised it was indeed going to do sweet FA for me, I was too far gone, and what I thought was the largest poo ever in the whole existence of thr world coming from me, it was infact, the baby crowning.
Three very large pushes later and my beautiful baby daughter entered the world in a hurry.
All 5lbs 11oz of healthy and hairy perfection.

Welcome to the world baby Liv.
Here starts the adventure of a lifetime……

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