31.12.17

Twelve weeks today.
Twelve whole weeks since this little madam arrived.
Twelve whole weeks of love.

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Wow! We’ve made it to the 12 week mark!
The miraculous 12 week mark.
You know, the week when EVERYTHING gets better!
‘She vomits a LOT’…..
She’ll grow out of that by 12 weeks.
‘She’s up at least four times in the night.’…..
She’ll sleep so much better around 12 weeks.
‘She’s really unsettled at night times still.’…..
That’ll be the colic, she’ll get over that at 12 weeks.

Well, here we are.
12 weeks.
And we’re still vomiting constantly, still up regularly through the night and low and behold, she still gets unsettled in the evenings.
So what did I do wrong?!

Nothing as it turns out… sometimes, things just don’t resolve all of a sudden by the magic 12 week mark. (Sorry mums that have been patiently waiting for the 12 week mark!)

We made a massive step forward this week though.
As I briefly mentioned in previous weeks, Olivia has suffered from projectile vomiting for weeks now. It’s slowly been getting worse to the point where it’s after every feed now. And some in between.
We regularly go through at least 4 outfits a day with a change after almost every feed. My particular favourite vomit time is the one JUST before you’re about to leave the house and you’ve spent an obscene amount of time getting tiny baby clothes on a very wriggly baby…. cue an entire outfit change.
Soul destroying!!
However, that’s just more of an annoyance on my part (And the friends I’m meeting/appointments I’m late for!)
My main concern is her pain – she grunts, screams, arches her back and goes rigid after and during feeds.It’s a bloody awful experience for all involved.
I’d been speaking to the Health visitor about it for a while and had various GPs review her – who all agree it’s reflux and so over the past two weeks we have trialed various different medications. Gaviscon helped thicken the milk and therefore made her vomit less. It unfortunately didn’t help with the pain and infact, made her constipated which probably added to her pain. Next, was Carobel, which did exactly the same as the gaviscon.
Next up is ranitidine. We’re currently still on that as we wait for a hospital referral.
This has helped the most with her pain – shes not as grunty or rigid after feeds. Although still there, it’s much improved. Hasn’t helped the vomiting but again, I (And my washing machine) can just about cope with that.
There’s a part of me who is loathe to give my 12 week old daughter such strong medication but at the same time, when you’re watching someone so little struggle so much and so often throughout the day, you’re willing to try anything to give her a bit of relief.
It’ll be interesting to see what the paediatric doctors will say as although she seems to still be gaining weight for now, it is slowing down considerably….

As its the last day of the year, i find its a great time to reflect back on the year; and in particular, the past 3 months. We have had breastfeeding battles, reflux issues, sleepless nights and days filled with tears.
I love social media and sharing pictures of my daughter but at the same time it’s important to remember – Don’t believe everything social media tells you. It is easy to look at a snapshot and think people have their shit together. It’s even easier as a sleep deprived mum, to compare yourselves and your babies to other mums who seem like they have it all figured out and they have their perfect babies.
I don’t use social media for every day moans and battles as I have very good friends and family who deal with that. I like to use it for highlights as eventually, I want to look back at it and remember the good times. Just because I post a great picture doesn’t mean that in the next 10minutes, I’m not covered in spew/poo/tears. ‘Comparison is the thief of joy’ and I think in this new year, my resolution is to ease up on myself and not give myself such a hard time, comparing myself and my baby to others. We’re figuring this out! Maybe not in the same way and as quick as other Mum’s but we’ll all get there in the end. And to all my mum friends – you all have been and continue to be my inspirations ❤❤
Happy New Year to you all when it comes. Here’s to making 2018 amazing.

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